voices

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unheard voice
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:26 pm

My life was not ment to be lived right

my soul was not ment to be fed

my love was not ment to be given

and still my face is drenched with the tears I cry because of this

the people tell me that i'm not ment to be anything

they tell me that i was put on this earth to screw up

not to be real

not to live out my dreams

is it because you knew you could never make it as far as i did

is that why i am not more than an empty face to you

is that why you left my lifeless body on the side of the road

why did you take my innocence before i was ready

this is why my white shirt is blood stained red

because i couldn't do it anymore

i heard the voices telling me you were coming that is why i got the knife

that is why i brought that gun yesterday

but now its done

your done you will no longer hurt me and call me a whore

and this is simply because i couldn't take it no more
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nasty chef
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Thu May 03, 2007 11:25 am

eish... dat had so much anger in it but i kinda understand nobody has da right to tell u how to live...

cool piece :lol: :lol:
kast1
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Thu May 03, 2007 1:09 pm

hey bro, i dont wanna be the guy that has to bring rules to the table, but you cant just post a peace up without commenting on atleast 2 or 3, please show some love to get some love!!!

peace
konko
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Thu May 03, 2007 1:24 pm

@ unheard

hmm, some strong emotions in that piece bro! methinks theres more to this poem than meets the eye.... i smell suicide! :s hock: or is it murder??? :? care to expantiate?
My life was not ment to be lived right

my soul was not ment to be fed

my love was not ment to be given

is that why you left my lifeless body on the side of the road

why did you take my innocence before i was ready

this is why my white shirt is blood stained red

because i couldn't do it anymore

i heard the voices telling me you were coming that is why i got the knife

that is why i brought that gun yesterday

but now its done


your done you will no longer hurt me and call me a whore

and this is simply because i couldn't take it no more
unheard voice
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Thu May 03, 2007 6:28 pm

@ konko i dont mind a little def.

first off im a girl

second this poem is based on the life of my best friend

she went through alot of things as a girl and she explained

to me her story i had 2 write it and share so people would

know what we as a people have to really go through
kast1
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Fri May 04, 2007 6:12 pm

hmmm, this poem confuses me, i get the concept of this poem, but certain lines dont fit or seem right to me.
the people tell me that i'm not ment to be nothing
the people, who are these people? here it sounds like they are giving you good advise,
they tell me that i was put on this earth to screw up
here, it sounds like those same people are giving you bad advise, trying to bring you down emotionally, contradicting the previous line.

not to be real

not to live out my dreams
same with these lines, seems like ill advise.
is that why you left my lifeless body on the side of the road
is this a metaphor, for her virginity???

the rest of this piece i could grasp. was really well written, its just these lines that i cant get my head around, if you will, please clarify this for me :D

stay inspired, and welcome to AHH.!!!

peace[/quote]
41Trippa
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Fri May 04, 2007 7:41 pm

I see in the 1st three lines a person who, for all the reasons listed in the next few, has accepted/believes exactly that:
My life was not ment to be lived right

my soul was not ment to be fed

my love was not ment to be given
And despite this apparent acceptance, the person still "feels and crys" because "inside" they know it's not true.

And all along, despite not accomplishing anything, being what anyone could see as "nothing", others continue to say they are/will be nothing, abandons them in every aspect, etc:
and still my face is drenched with the tears I cry because of this

the people tell me that i'm not ment to be nothing

they tell me that i was put on this earth to screw up

not to be real

not to live out my dreams
The same people don't just "kill" the today, they also want to kill the "tomorrow" ... the "POTENTIAL" ,which is purely (virginity if you must) born out of innocence, that is the cornerstone of all we become:
is it because you knew you could never make it as far as i did

is that why i am not more than an empty face to you

is that why you left my lifeless body on the side of the road

why did you take my innocence before i was ready
and finally it's over, culminating in the "strength" to control oneself and also snatch back that power which was never "given". Metaphorical suicide? Real suicide? Many believe suicide is always a weakness .. hmmmm ... they say no one would take their life if they were "okay" and "strong". Those same people watch (in fact they often help push) as reality lulls people into a literal "haze" where they would rather kill themselves than take a 3-day vacation to just scream, talk with a baby (the angels around them do understand), etc.

There are some grammatical slips in here as Kast1 noted (they lead down multiple alleys at the same time) but it's a good piece!!
unheard voice
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Mon May 07, 2007 7:16 pm

well thank u for ur input

@41trippa u r the only one so far who has gotten the real meaning

of my poem and for this i truely thank u @kast 1 to me when

someone tells u that ur life is not ment to go any where this is

not good advice to me this means that they are trying to put

u down and through my definition this line goes with the flow

of this word but please tell me what is ur definition

of this line so i will understand where you r coming from?

i thought nobody would like this poem but thanks for the

imput and i know this will help me improve!!!
kast1
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Mon May 07, 2007 7:45 pm

well thank u for ur input

@41trippa u r the only one so far who has gotten the real meaning

of my poem and for this i truely thank u @kast 1 to me when

someone tells u that ur life is not ment to go any where this is

not good advice to me this means that they are trying to put

u down
and through my definition this line goes with the flow

of this word but please tell me what is ur definition

of this line so i will understand where you r coming from?

i thought nobody would like this poem but thanks for the

imput and i know this will help me improve!!!
the people tell me that i'm not ment to be nothing
hahahaha , now i see, this line is ambigious... i took it in the way that they are saying you have a purpose and you were not made to be nothing, you were made to be something!!! do you see how the line can be read and comprehended differently,,, lol

good piece none the less

stay inspired,,,

peace
unheard voice
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Tue May 08, 2007 4:26 pm

now i see why u would think i

am contradicting my self i

never really thought to look at it

that way i just thought that everyone

would have the same meaning i had

thanks 4 giving me sum of your

wisdom!!!
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