I Tried...

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I-Shine
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:39 pm

Thought of somebody so I just started writing this...

I tried so hard to look aside/

But my past keep walking by my side/

I tried so hard to hold onto you/

But distance let go of you/

Now I’m all alone reminiscing about

All the time you and I spent together/

The good times you and I had together/

But I guess the saying was right

20 kids can’t play for 20 years/

I know you shed tears/

Wipe away your tears and say cheers/

I have got a lot to say to you

So lend me your ears/

You were a girl of a kind/

And my love for you was blind/

But now that you’re gone I can see/

My heart was locked but now it’s free/

Nod your head and feel the beat/

I hope your heart beat/

My heart couldn’t take it when you said you had to leave/

Baby girl you were my eve/

The bone from my rib/

I was hoping we did leave together in a crib/

I guess I was a dreamer/

Mama said you believed her/

You bored hole through my soul like ether/

Am still mending it through the speaker/

Its 3 am in the morning/

I just wanted to sing for you before it’s sunny/

Still think of you atimes yea it’s funny/

I hope you didn’t leave for the money/

Even your smile wasn’t a guarantee/

My heart still feels empty/

I tried to love dearly/

Why did it end sadly/
Poetic Seraph
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:52 pm

aaaaaw this poem is soooo soooo sad. man u musta really loved this girl. i love the flow, the use of words, the concept, .... but most of all how u drag the reader in and make ur emotions his/her emotions. wonderful!!
Young_Pup_740
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:30 pm

Wow... I really like this. This is real good. It's deep but simple. I like this
intel
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Thu May 08, 2008 1:34 am

Lol i really like it, the rhyme scheme gives me more of a song feel rather than a poetry piece. ever considered recording?
TeeZeR
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Wed May 14, 2008 3:52 pm

[quote name="intel"]Lol i really like it, the rhyme scheme gives me more of a song feel rather than a poetry piece. ever considered recording?[/quote]

Gotta agree. Nice bro!
Poetic Seraph
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Sun May 18, 2008 3:28 pm

I-Shine....baby.... I haven't been on here for a while, u shoulda pointed this piece out to me. damn, u really loved that girl very deeply huh? beautiful write, i'm tryin not to cry. i agree that u should record this and lemme hear it :p
Couzifer
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Mon May 19, 2008 9:55 am

This not tha' first time am reading this piece, have read it over and over again but truth be told, this is a powerful piece, emotional, sad, .... why do these things happen?!...deeeymn.
tish
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Wed May 21, 2008 6:32 pm

this is really good.pure and simple man you must have love this girl
AddictiveSoul
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Thu May 22, 2008 12:49 pm

yea, i agree with Teezer and Intel... this feels alot like a song. Genuine emotion though.. sweet..

bless
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