Growing Pains (collab)

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Poetic Seraph
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Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:24 pm

--This is my (first) verse of a collab I'm doing with a poet from Miami. As soon as I receive his verse, I'll add it--

Tears on ur angel face

A magic kiss to take away the pain

And u'll be allright

Cuz u tell me

U are a big girl now

My babies,

Enjoy ur childhood as much as u can

Fantasy fairies do eat yellow purple striped berries

And a tickling troll will hug u

If u give him a kiss on the forehead to pay the toll

U will fall in love and get ur heart broken

Always keep ur head up

And never regret

Every pain is a lesson learnt

Think before u talk

But be outspoken

My babies,

U are divine to me

But even deities should have dignity

And treat people respectfully

And I will try as hard as I can

To show u the qualities of a good man

Just make sure u can stand on ur own 2 feet

Never deny urself for love to keep

If love wants to leave u

Then love don't deserve u

And u will be stronger than that

U will be smarter than that

Be proud

Be confident

Be sincere

Be loving

Be caring

Face life without fear

Growing pains might hurt u deeply

But u will grow

And u will be loved

Unconditionally
rap oracle
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:59 am

love tha line...[/size]

[quote name="Poetic Seraph"]If love wants to leave u

Then love don't deserve u[/quote]



just couldnt help dropping feed on this.lyk i said earlier u say words like a rescital i lyk that,kind of lyk u got an audience in front of u...u always say the deepest things with the simplest words...i just feel lyk u need to challenge yourself mo,add a lil mo metaphos and rhymes...[/size]
:)
Poetic Seraph
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:00 pm

oracle, thanks for the feed and I know, I need to challenge myself more. this collab in itself is actually a challenge, to pull myself out of this writer's block that's been hitting me again. I'm slowly recovering :) just need some poetic inspiration
brooks
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:15 pm

hey you, nice piece! What if you spent the ist 3 stanzas poetically describing growing pains? its just a tot. what do you think?
Nu'Rudeen
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Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:38 pm

Think before u talk

But be outspoken
:lol:

I like the way this sounds, it shows that you're in touch with your spoken word and still have your poetry in mind when you write.

Actually sounds like it's addressed to your daughter, reality is harder to mould into poetry, it's so much easier to draw somethnig from nothing thatn to edit an already existing picture into perfection. And that is what you have done, you've made growing paind look like blessing in disguise, a lesson that is best learnt.
patroba
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Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:48 am

when you are growing up

you experience growing pains

internally, you have pain growing

growing so fast, testing your sanity

the pain is much,

and you wish you never came out of infancy ;

a stage where to the world you mean the world

and they scramble to have you on their laps,

aren't you sitting on top of the world?

but soon as you start growing up

you get under,

and the ridges of the world's shoe,

starts to step on top of you

and you are left to wonder

"I thought I was growing tall"

why then am I Going down,

when I was young I was on top

but the I think

the taller and older I become

the stronger I get

to lay a foundation

to the little ones

I don't know, just writting
Nu'Rudeen
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Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:46 pm

[quote name="patroba"]when you are growing up

you experience growing pains

internally, you have pain growing........

......but the I think

the taller and older I become

the stronger I get

to lay a foundation

to the little ones

I don't know, just writting[/quote]

Powerful lines there.
konko
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Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:40 am

that was a sweet one poetic seraph... ur children are blessed to have u as their mum. 8)
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