Do You?

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Ms-Kels
Junior Member
Posts:21
Joined:Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:36 pm
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Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:30 pm

Do you remember

The first time we met?

We both had butterflies

Not forgetting the goosebumps

Do you remember

The first time we kissed?

It felt like my first kiss

I still remember it

Do you remember

The first time I told you

I loved you?

I still do, love you that is

It was the most honest thing

I have ever said

Do you remember

The first time we made love?

How you caressed me

How you kissed me

How gentle you were

How you whispered sweet nothings

How you held me

Thought it would never end

Do you remember

When we had our first fight?

How calm we were

And how we promised

Not to fight again

It was crazy,

Me and you together.

But it was great.

I wonder though,

Do you ever think about us?

About all the things we did

The fun and fights we had

Do you?
kast1
Posting Freak
Posts:1294
Joined:Wed Dec 14, 2005 7:27 pm
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Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:12 pm

ah, i see from this poem and the previous one i commented on, that you prefer the simplistic side of poetry, which is not a bad thing, although i qould like to see you take a step out you comfort zone and bring more complexity to your pieces in the future..

this piece was very "heart warming", though, you gotta be carefull with repetitive poems, repeating something over and over again, can drive the reader to like it less, depending on who is reading it, so, you kinda appeal to a one sided crowd, me personally stray away from repetitive poems, but i know people that cant stay away from them... so basically im saying, you should switch up styles, just to test yourself, and if you do, elevation is a given, i promise you that!!!

there was some interesting parts in this poem, i esspecially liked the ambiguity in this part
Do you remember

The first time I told you

I loved you?

I still do, love you that is It was the most honest thing

I have ever said
nice job!!!

stay inspired!!!

peace
Ghostic
Posting Freak
Posts:786
Joined:Tue Jun 27, 2006 7:12 pm
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Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:21 pm

Hey Pretty!

Yeah I can tell you are pretty from the way you write.

Going thru both poem (Do You? and LIFE GOES ON!),I can tell too that some mutherfu*ker did somefin ill to ya...Kinda like toyed wiv ya emotions.

You know what?You can cry here...go ahead,I gat yo back,we all do...right AHH?

Love your poems,it's like I can hear you when I read them.

ONE!
is jus' me
Junior Member
Posts:32
Joined:Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:35 pm
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Sun Sep 02, 2007 3:29 pm

:lol: mis kels keep da posts coming! u are free, expressive and i love that. almost anyone who reads this piece will be able to identify with it, feel it. da piece is kinda reflecting wat i feel at da moment coz of some a* hle! who jst fuckd up ma weekend nd ma bthday>>

onc again beautiful simple piece.lol.

is jus me: a sunrise da color of nite
Ms-Kels
Junior Member
Posts:21
Joined:Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:36 pm
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Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:58 pm

Whats up every body?

Y isnt anybody posting repplys anymore on any of my poems?

Even if it wont make me happy, it will make me a better writer.

COME ON PEOPLE!

PEACE
Soulflo_holic
Junior Member
Posts:29
Joined:Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:30 pm
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Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:04 pm

miss Kels

heeey girl you comin thru, personally feelin you too/

some things we all been thru/

your poems not bad at all, keep it coming

Blessed Omega Love :D
nevilbee
Member
Posts:223
Joined:Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:50 pm
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Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:48 am

readers can be very unpredictble at times:

u may hear them saying that they feeling

the simple reader-friendly poetry and when u start making it a habit

the same readers are gonna say that u too simple,

boring and one sided.

so yeah. i'm not hating

but speaking as a reader i love a diverse poet

MUCH RESPECT
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