nurudeen Vs kast: props of disconnection

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kast1
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Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:16 pm

PROPS OF DISCONNECTION

Nurudeen's piece

Pleasant evening on a walk to the theatre

I see a fire fly dancing in the night

who knows why they light up?

why they dance?

But I know why the Dance troupe I'm going to see

will do their thing

It's an awareness campaign against abortion

My fiancee would be on stage

she just removed Our last one

and in ten minutes the act is done

the rigours of monthly practice and workout

gone, with the swinging hips, nimble feet,

bulging muscles, strecthed skin, as limbs with precision are flung about

perspiration, now dry as the dead drum beat......

...Fades,......and backstage it's time for Puff Puff Pass

I'll get drunk tonight and with a hangover probably miss class

But I'm the teacher though

Yeah! those kids, what more do I teach them?

I'm done for the term with weeks to go.

sometimes it's good not to give a f*ck

just roll the blunt, smoke, float, get detached

and view this world as from lofty heavens through a looking glass.

Yeah!~









Kast's piece


I manufacture far too many ideas for them all to be stored between my ears.

So when my mind is filled to capacity,

I let my thoughts seep through a "pen"

and pour

onto

a thirsty "page" that swallows my words whole

-A "page" that is easily manipulated by its author.

Its paper-thin soul, believes everything that is spoon-fed to it.

The "pen" is no different from its enemy

-It does exactly what its told.

The wielder has full control.

It will keep spilling ink until its soul runs cold...

Pen and page connect only to kill each other.

Its a sad truth that they are just tools

- used and abused...

Eternal rivals made to fight

everytime someone picks up a pen and pad to write, scribble or draw...

either way, they end up in the middle of war

while the aurthor sits safely behind closed doors and

watches

how the

ink

pours....

This goes out to all the pens, pencils and sheets of paper...

that have fought, shed tears of ink, and died for the sake of these words...
AddictiveSoul
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Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:41 pm

Alrightie...

I'm leaving this thread open for 3 days...

Voters, please read the rules first...

bless
nii
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Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:30 am

well i was feeling kast more on this one...

kast message was a bit clearer..how people mislead others with their opinions which at this point is a written one and the pen and paper being the weapons here..at the end of the day, the message went well for me..even though he cld still work on his structure..otherwise ma vote goes for Kast..

Nurudeen on the other side had a creative idea but i guess he/she cldnt get the message across well..moreover, think i saw some fillers there..some sentences were only meant to take some space in the piece but great concept anyways..the only part tht got me was where his gurl had already aborted their unborn child but ironically finds herself in a dance troupe perfoming at a show against abortion..nice concept but like always,there's more room for improvement..props tho..

VOTE=KAST 1

lets' the vote coming..am here to stay..

peace..
kast1
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Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:23 pm

only 2 people have responded to this, :?

whats going on?
Ghostic
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Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:37 pm

Nuru's Piece was cool,kinda simple....

But Kast killed this PB(Poetry Battle)...Dyeem look at those opening bars....Gaddyeem!

[quote name="kast1"]



Kast's piece


I manufacture far too many ideas for them all to be stored between my ears.

So when my mind is filled to capacity,

I let my thoughts seep through a "pen"

and pour

onto

a thirsty "page" that swallows my words whole


-A "page" that is easily manipulated by its author.

Its paper-thin soul, believes everything that is spoon-fed to it.

[/quote]

VOTE===Kast.
AddictiveSoul
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Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:37 am

okey dokey...

Kast1 - 4

Nurudeen - 0

Must say, i'm pretty disappointed with the (lack of) response this battle got.

So should we end this at that, or keep it open for a little while longer?
[
/i]
kast1
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Wed Jun 13, 2007 8:02 pm

i doubt things will get anymore exciting in here, lol, thanks to those that commented on these pieces

peace
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