My first time...

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nasty chef
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Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:39 pm

I was dat fool, da only one who neva knew u existed

until dat day u bashed in2 me/

I neva knew what 2 do, tryd 2 play it cool

but ur servants wings took over gently flapping til my heart shifted/

we grew together, you were right there besides me as we unravelld da bed sheets

holdin my hand taking me thru da paces of my heart beats/

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

u didnt even pull me on the sleave and tel me it was time for you to leave

i looked around and you were gone/

and dats when da pain hit me...

but i still wudnt mind you bashing in2 me once more/

becos' i know how you are now,

uv done this 2 me so many times it doesnt hurt anymore/
Ghostic
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Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:49 pm

[quote name="nasty chef"]

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

[/quote]

I LOVE THESE LINES SO MUCH....nice creativity.

Hmmm,pretty poetry...First time was painful,yet you want some more....

Some Lyrical Masochist!
LyricalCompanion
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Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:36 am

I loved the flow of your poem...it drew me in so deeply. nobody should ever get used to harshness though...

Keep cooking up a storm chef!
ugo
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Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:04 pm

hey chef, im sorry i ddnt really see what u were driving at,ah mean the point of your piece,but it sure had a great flow. kept me noddin all thru.
MicWizard
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Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:35 pm

[quote name="ugo"]hey chef, im sorry i ddnt really see what u were driving at,ah mean the point of your piece,but it sure had a great flow. kept me noddin all thru.[/quote]

yha mayn canu elaborate coz the flow is nice
kast1
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Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:09 pm


we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/
thats some crazy imagery and creativity !!!

dope piece!!!

stay inspired!!!

peace
nasty chef
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:41 am

for those of u who neva caught on, dis is bout da first time i fell in love...
Poetic Seraph
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:43 pm

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/
these are my favorite lines too. and i figured out u were talking bout ur first love :p I love the flow and the way u describe the sadness. U pulled me in from the first line
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