My first time...

[nasty chef]

I was dat fool, da only one who neva knew u existed

until dat day u bashed in2 me/

I neva knew what 2 do, tryd 2 play it cool

but ur servants wings took over gently flapping til my heart shifted/

we grew together, you were right there besides me as we unravelld da bed sheets

holdin my hand taking me thru da paces of my heart beats/

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

u didnt even pull me on the sleave and tel me it was time for you to leave

i looked around and you were gone/

and dats when da pain hit me...

but i still wudnt mind you bashing in2 me once more/

becos' i know how you are now,

uv done this 2 me so many times it doesnt hurt anymore/

[Ghostic]

[quote name="nasty chef"]

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

[/quote]

I LOVE THESE LINES SO MUCH....nice creativity.

Hmmm,pretty poetry...First time was painful,yet you want some more....

Some Lyrical Masochist!

[LyricalCompanion]

I loved the flow of your poem...it drew me in so deeply. nobody should ever get used to harshness though...

Keep cooking up a storm chef!

[ugo]

hey chef, im sorry i ddnt really see what u were driving at,ah mean the point of your piece,but it sure had a great flow. kept me noddin all thru.

[MicWizard]

[quote name="ugo"]hey chef, im sorry i ddnt really see what u were driving at,ah mean the point of your piece,but it sure had a great flow. kept me noddin all thru.[/quote]

yha mayn canu elaborate coz the flow is nice

[BATSIRAI E CHIGAMA]

sad, desperate, very sad indeed

[Qu33ny]

too realistic

[kast1]

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

thats some crazy imagery and creativity !!!

dope piece!!!

stay inspired!!!

peace

[nasty chef]

for those of u who neva caught on, dis is bout da first time i fell in love...

[Poetic Seraph]

we were a team/ you made me buy those roses

but you neva told me dat da petals wud one day wilt

and id be left with thorns dat wud make me bleed/

these are my favorite lines too. and i figured out u were talking bout ur first love :p I love the flow and the way u describe the sadness. U pulled me in from the first line