one line 7 words

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Uncaged Thot
Senior Member
Posts:275
Joined:Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:40 pm
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:38 pm

love makes me stutter so listen closely

as i try to speak in tongues

my thoughts twist back silently cracking bones

mind and heart wrestle for the wisecrack

i placed a noose round my neck

in deep silence i hear loud words

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN RIGHT

NAKED THOUGTHS FEEDS NOTHING BUT NO HOPE

STRIKE THE STEEL WHILE ITS STILL HOT



I THINK THE FIRST FOUR LINES MAKE SENSE PLACED TOGETHER, EISH FROM

THERE ON HAAI, I DNT KNW!!!! WHAT DO U GUYS THINK?
ghetto queen
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Posts:130
Joined:Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:51 am
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:44 pm

[quote name="Uncaged Thot"]love makes me stutter so listen closely

as i try to speak in tongues

my thoughts twist back silently cracking bones

mind and heart wrestle for the wisecrack

i placed a noose round my neck

in deep silence i hear loud words

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN RIGHT

NAKED THOUGTHS FEEDS NOTHING BUT NO HOPE

STRIKE THE STEEL WHILE ITS STILL HOT



I THINK THE FIRST FOUR LINES MAKE SENSE PLACED TOGETHER, EISH FROM

THERE ON HAAI, I DNT KNW!!!! WHAT DO U GUYS THINK?
[/quote]

yeah the 1st 3 lines are tight
0z
Posting Freak
Posts:1033
Joined:Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:55 pm
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:54 pm

is this like a neverending poem ?
ghetto queen
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Posts:130
Joined:Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:51 am
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Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:41 am

[quote name="AddictiveSoul"]^^ that would be cool.

Nice thread GQ.

Welcome to AHH :wink:

bless
[/quote]

thanks :)
0z
Posting Freak
Posts:1033
Joined:Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:55 pm
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Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:44 am

wish I could reboot reformat the brain
concrete
Senior Member
Posts:300
Joined:Mon Sep 19, 2005 1:41 pm
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Fri Aug 25, 2006 2:51 pm

Rearrange my mind state

emotions blocked for i to remain atleast sane
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