dry dirt

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Tanzanite
Junior Member
Posts:19
Joined:Thu Jan 03, 2002 8:01 am
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Tue Feb 05, 2002 11:15 pm

wut up yall. this is my first poem on this board, my motha died upon givin birth to me cause she lost too much blood(in tanzania) cause our hospitals werent all that good. so this is a way of me communicatin wit her...it aint finished all the way but, gimme some feed back on some stuff to improve on aight?? thanx yall. very much appreciated.

i once was lost in this wonderfully hideously world

my body, mind and eyes rendered uselesslly into the unknown

my heart, dry as a desert, full of dust. sufferin from thirst

as you were the rain withheld, as i longed for water, while suckin on dry dirt.

i would gaze up at the clear night sky and wonder where you were

did you look at the rising sun and think of me?

my pen and paper and the ink across the page

my only means of escape from this invisible cage.

every shattered emotion pourin outta my heart

with my bruised soul torn apart......

[img]images/smiles/icon_redface.gif[/img]
SoultheAfricanSistar
Junior Member
Posts:7
Joined:Fri Dec 21, 2001 8:01 am
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Wed Feb 06, 2002 12:24 am

I am sorry about your mother..but I do like your piece....sad but beautiful

every shattered emotion pourin outta my heart

with my bruised soul torn apart......
bongonian
Junior Member
Posts:15
Joined:Sat Nov 03, 2001 8:01 am
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Wed Feb 06, 2002 9:50 am

it's my first time to read a touching writting in Africanhiphop...pole mzee

------------ -------------

crawling out seeking for helping hands

my life has just been a cloudy sky

every baby's first word couldnt come outta my mouth....mama
dimplez
Junior Member
Posts:1
Joined:Mon Apr 28, 2003 7:23 pm
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Mon Apr 28, 2003 7:33 pm

i luv it u have wat a lot of writers dont have today- thats the ability to actually get a visual image through your words. i am able to see your pain and suffrage through your work.post the rest of it up when you're done. i would look forward to seeing more.
PHEONIX
Junior Member
Posts:15
Joined:Tue May 21, 2002 9:01 am
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Tue Jun 17, 2003 12:01 am

Damn.. that was tight mann.. I'm feelin U.
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