May I?

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41Trippa
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Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:19 am

[quote name="soul_seeker"]I love you,

I want to write it on your skin with my fingertips, so that you feel it all over

I don’t want it to be left out at the end of a conversation,

I want those three words to come down like a gentle shower that’ll lightly land on every inch of you, as my soul,

Let my, I love you,

Slip from my tongue

And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,

[/quote]

Whewwww!!! I tell you, these are some severely righteous lines .. and I love them!

I tell you, "wanting" is a beautiful thing and somehow "having" so often falls short.
TeeZeR
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Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:33 pm

Damn what some words you have there dude. It reminds me of that Robin Thicke's track...lost without you.

Such words/ phrases are always difficult to say when the time to say them comes...I sometimes want to tell my woman a whole lot of things, but right there would come all some other ad hoc thoughts...i can tell you that these other thoughts are straight bullshit, but I always give into them. What a kak situation.
Couzifer
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Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:58 pm

The art of expression at it best, I'm loving this piece. Sometimes words can get louder!
israel
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Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:11 pm

One word describes this piece, and that word is - DOPE!

I'm loving the imagery.

Plus this piece has a sort of a ???... Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears. Nice 1 man.
Poetic Seraph
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Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:29 am

Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears.
EXACTLY!!! it's very smooth, sensual and innocent at the same time. questioning if 'i love u' will be received in the exact way that u meant it when u said it, shows that u care enough to wonder. cuz people use those 3 words too easily nowadays. and when it comes straight from the heart and not out of habit, i love u is very hard to say, cuz it can have a lot and a lot of consequences
eizzy.k
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Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:15 pm

its hard to come across a good "I Love You" poem, but i think u pulled it off...

it felt genuine! sensual even, dude i cud feel the love! LoL!

P.S. would make a great spoken word performance piece!
temple of zion
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Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:11 pm

wow dude u killed it man,i lked the way you killed this rhyme..

"Let my, I love you,

Slip from my tongue

And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,

May this phrase from my heart to yours, fit you like a glove.

May this I love you of mine not suddenly undergo some un-welcomed metamorphosis,

May it not all of a sudden snake menacingly around your body

May it not tighten, to strangle and suffocate you."

dude thats something inspiring,and i would enjoy reading yo piece over and over again,kip tha fire burning
discyple
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Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:11 pm

not bad at all im lovin the whole concept and the structure of this ish. nice piece delivered perfectly.

word

:wink:
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