"Memories of a dead Poet!"

Moderator:Juma4admin

Couzifer
Posting Freak
Posts:1565
Joined:Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:54 pm
Contact:

Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:21 pm

Resting my cheek on this palm

I try to concentrate but my mind is not calm

my head feels heavy, this posture can as well tell

as I stare at this pages, words loose grip and starts to fall

letter by letter they wither and disappear in my sight's walls

my eyes can't follow because this sockets feels hollow

for a second I think I'm hallucinating, then I'm dreaming?!

I shake my head to be sure of whats happening

its then when brain dusts blows through my mouth and nostrils

immediately the room is filled with a cloud of thoughts

and there is a strong stench of poetic rhymes in the air

slowly the cloud clears as the dust settles on the keyboard

covering the keys with a layer of melodic notes

which when i strike words dance their way back to their pages

letters are re-grouped back to words strike by strike

and as pages fill up, a weird date and time strikes

its 666:00 Hrs on the 66th day of the year 6066

this catches my attention regaining my full sight

so now I'm able to see beyond this screen's light

and clearly I can see a reflection of a dead poet

withered to his skeleton resting one cheek on his palm

his other hand on the keyboard, index finger pressing (period).[/size]
pro-dominant
Member
Posts:204
Joined:Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:00 am
Contact:

Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:54 pm

as I stare at this pages, words loose grip and starts to fall

letter by letter they wither and disappear in my sight's walls

my eyes can't follow because this sockets feels hollow


love u r train a thought here......



immediately the room is filled with a cloud of thoughts

and there is a strong stench of poetic rhymes in the air


dope abstrct shit here...

over all dope peice....waitin 4 thoughts reincarnated by this poet

peace and stay blessed
vnorm
Senior Member
Posts:448
Joined:Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:40 pm
Contact:

Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:28 pm

haha. thts dead sick (!) i can see the skeleton typing, the letters from the keyboard regrouping into words by this 'force' of vnorm. i just loved thatpiece. i like abstract stuff coz multiple inerpretation from the audience is the beauty of poetry. u began and ended superbly though within the body, it kinda wasnt as clear as in the begining. in overall i loved it man. dope piece Couzi.

the 666 play hit home so finely. i loved the lightness to this piece man. lemme stop there.
Couzifer
Posting Freak
Posts:1565
Joined:Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:54 pm
Contact:

Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:02 pm

@ pro-dominant: Thanks bro for ya' feedback, means alot to me.

@ vnorm: Am glad this piece had some effect and made u' see somethin' :)
u began and ended superbly though within the body, it kinda wasnt as clear as in the begining
Thanks alot for that constructive critism, and u' are very right because before I started writing this, I only knew how to begin and end it, didn't know wat' was to become of the body!
the 666 play hit home so finely
Haha, don't know whur that came from, guess there is a little beast in everyone of us!

Thanks for the feeds guys.

One!
brooks
Senior Member
Posts:259
Joined:Sat Dec 01, 2007 1:37 pm
Contact:

Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:20 pm

[quote name="Couzifer"]Haha, don't know whur that came from, guess there is a little beast in everyone of us![/quote]

there is 0ne very scary one in you! that was ssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!! :evil:
tish
Junior Member
Posts:36
Joined:Sat May 17, 2008 6:54 pm
Contact:

Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:34 pm

[quote name="Couzifer"]Resting my cheek on this palm

I try to concentrate but my mind is not calm

my head feels heavy, this posture can as well tell

as I stare at this pages, words loose grip and starts to fall

letter by letter they wither and disappear in my sight's walls

my eyes can't follow because this sockets feels hollow

for a second I think I'm hallucinating, then I'm dreaming?!

I shake my head to be sure of whats happening

its then when brain dusts blows through my mouth and nostrils

immediately the room is filled with a cloud of thoughts

and there is a strong stench of poetic rhymes in the air

slowly the cloud clears as the dust settles on the keyboard

covering the keys with a layer of melodic notes

which when i strike words dance their way back to their pages

letters are re-grouped back to words strike by strike

and as pages fill up, a weird date and time strikes

its 666:00 Hrs on the 66th day of the year 6066

this catches my attention regaining my full sight

so now I'm able to see beyond this screen's light

and clearly I can see a reflection of a dead poet

withered to his skeleton resting one cheek on his palm

his other hand on the keyboard, index finger pressing (period).[/size][/quote]

damn i feel this piece coz every time i set myself to write a piece the words are on coming so this is a motivation to me good work man and thanks for the insipiration
nevilbee
Member
Posts:223
Joined:Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:50 pm
Contact:

Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:25 pm

my brother you are sick to death!

i stil maintain that you got the dopest

concepts i have seen on this site.

keep inspiring MAN!
Couzifer
Posting Freak
Posts:1565
Joined:Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:54 pm
Contact:

Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:45 pm

Thanks brooks, tish and nevilbee for ya' feeds. I see all ya'.

One!
XCAPEE
Posting Freak
Posts:1406
Joined:Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:53 pm
Contact:

Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:20 pm

Couz that was sick as hell ! liked the piece dwag

keep working.
Post Reply
  • Information
  • Who is online

    Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests