Just some lyrics - comments appreciated

Never ending cyphers since 2002

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Lil D
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Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:43 pm

Im 15 and have gotten into mcing and really want to get a mixtape together soon etc with me and a few mates.

I jot down lyrics that come to my head in a notebook and at night when im chilling ill put some good instrumentals from my favourite artists and try to make a good set of lyrics instead of a few good lines. It aint long, but I wont to know what you all think.

The instrumental is Lose Yourself Eminem

Sittin here

doin nothin

writin lyrics so i can be somefin

main aim to get people jumpin

these words got the heart pumpin

showing the world what i got from sr to compton

everyones dancing to their favourite rapper

throw your hands up in the air, smoke that rifa

cos tonight is the only time your gonna experience real flow

uh

like de la hoyas knockout, blood on the floor KO

you know youre in hip hop when girls be callin

your name as you step on stage with the camera on you'n

screaming as loud as they can

cos they know your the only white man that can bang

they laugh at you workin at that burger van

but they dont know about your skills your lyrics name n

that ur generically different in all freestylin situations

ripping apart mcs, breaking em in half

as you show them what rapping takes to be a part of

comments appreciated

Lil D

I posted this in the poetry forum by accident as I got confused by forum titles n thought this one maybe just a battle forum. I took the time to read through posts etc and realised this is the right place, apologies.
Rus-tla
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Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:46 pm

Lil D Lil Gangster I could picture u reciting those rhymes with all them visions in yah head and Eminem tellin you you're the shit, b-live me there was a point he told me the same shyte....

Nice flow
Lil D
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Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:53 pm

thanks alot, its appreciated. comments still appreciated and advice.
Lil D
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:39 am

2 different verses i came up with listening to

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DlVmQ5qpChU

2 pac - I wonder If Heaven Got A Ghetto

Comments would much be appreciated, please read along to the instrumental, alot better flow.

all i hear is crying

my moma, no money again

i sit upstairs just listenin

as she argues with her drunk alcoholic boyfriend

why is life this shit

what did we ever do to deserve shit like this

not even enough money to buy food

let alone the bus to school

as i sit alone and think, of ways to make money, change the image of a poor broke fool

father was a bitch, bust his lip

we hated eachother so much he may as well of been a blood and me a crip

drinking all day, beating his wife

thinking its alrite what he does at night

sleeping with hookers, getting into fights

this aint the life i imagined when I got the flight

to live with this punk, hear my step mom cry at night

4 divorced wives? he should be read his rights

getting away from the struggle, i smoked weed all day long

yearning to get respect from my friends instead of my home

chasing after girls to famous for my own

staying out at night, not wanting to come back to the drunken bum

rebellion was my only nature, instead of standing by and watching him hit her

in his drunken rage, shouting and hating, on normal passers by, just cos theyre better

what he thinks in the daytime I dont know, but for one, he aint gonna see me no mo
mceeQ
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:22 pm

for a new or upcoming emcee dats pretty decent but i won't lie to u to actually make it in da hip ho-sphere u gotta come alot harder and very original.When i read or hear your ishh i gotta feel like damn i neva heard this before but omg its amazing,dats wat gr8 emcees are like. But keep doing your thing da main thing is practice write as much and read as much as u can listen to as much music doesn't have to be hip hop anything u can get inspiration from da weirdest places and most important freestyle.Overall u gotta have fun enjoy da experience of crafting rhymes and bars and BE YOURSELF.

good luck
Emigee
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:47 pm

[quote name="Lil D"]like de la hoyas knockout, blood on the floor KO

you know youre in hip hop when girls be callin

[/quote]

NICE!!!

for a fisrt time, you are on the track, just keep it real and dont be what you are not, remeber with time ppl become harder and aggressive. it does not fall from the sky like that... you can write and at your age you still got a long way to go so be a player in the game and you can write good. otherwise keep your head up!!!
Lil D
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:53 pm

Thanks all, its really appreciated. Soon I will have my first mixtape, based on instrumentals of my favourite artists

Snoopy, Dre, Eminem, Pac n B.I.G.

I will probably post links etc in this post when its ready, will be a week or 2.

I understand about the voice etc, I need to know what I want to sound like, and I have only just started so my lyrics arnt that vast yet. But im trying ;]

If any of yall know Dreadlockz, the mixtape will be with him, we live near eachother.

And most my lyrics are based on my life. The first ones arnt, but the 2nd ones are, and I saw I got much better flow etc when I wasnt trying to fake it, ie speak about what I know

Im more oldschool, so most of my stuff will be oldschool not about money n shnizzle

anyway, will be back with more lyrics later

thanks all

Lil D
Lil D
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Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:07 pm

hey all

I just ordered some studio equipment

Behringer C3 Condenser Mic

Tascam Us-122 or w/e

Behringher MS40 monitors

This is just to get me started into it etc.

what yall think?

Lil D
Lil D
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Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:10 pm

ive got like 30-50 pages filled on my notebook now, but thought id post a few that in my opinion i like

Just thought id edit, im not trying to be fake here, this is just what came to my head at the time, so if its comes across like that, apologies

never seen mo guns n clips than this

smoke weed no weightness

keeps ma mind weightless

honeys know am freshness

emphasis-on-relentlessness

shows homies no forgiveness

thats why they call me merci-less

i rap alot from-the-heart-i-speak

this rap game aint for the weak

my lyrics institute fear

intuition to get paid so clear

some say raps lost-its-touch

my composure so heavy

they call-me-butch

my lyrics represent pain

pen-to-paper lyrics pour like rain from the brain

spliffs, bass, beer its a friday

fuk fakin, am reppin sr my way

hatas be gettin GCSE's

im rappin, fukn playboy-bunny-honeys

id rather ride in a lolo showin you how Lil D goes

than waste my time, puttin-you-to-the-flo

hatas call us whiggas-wit-attitude

yall know a get inspiriation from niggas-wit-attitude

spittin rhymes in my room

reppin death, to you i put doom

i spit harsh rhymes

rip faster than tech 9nes

lyrics harder than drug-times

fuck wanab uk grime

moshers, chavs, punks whatever

yall know gangsta rappers r better

freestylin, lyrics flyin

shits-so-dope you be cryin

i freestyle yet it makes me so happy

lines put-you-on-the-flo, crack-boom-fatality

when i walk i see

pushers on the streets

any motherfucker could be-my-enemy

take the gun, shots-to-the-feet

corrupt police, taking bribes

with a 9mm by their side

ridin shotgun in a toyota

high 15 year old as the driva

all the old times

sippin whisky, spittin rhymes

these were days time-flew-by

Fuck JLS, why you so LOC? Acting like a comedown on coke

If you want something, do something about it - dont complain, dont-diss-the-tits, dont-flip-your-shit, go rub-the-clit

( last 2 about xfactor, was getting sick of people puttin bulletins on myspace, last one is about alex )

All comments appreciated, I will accept criticism but flamin is just stupid

and ofc all praise is welcome ;]

Thanks

Lil D
Lil D
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Mon Dec 15, 2008 12:15 am

fuck this shit, always havin arguments. keep on steppin, put you in bad predicaments

Kicked out at year 10

May as well send a homie to the pen

Gimme a celly named len

become my manger, paper to pen

to help me get richer

smoke weed like oxygen

ship it in by the freighter

Catch Line today

Rather pull the trigure on this waste of a father figure
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