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I once (way back) created an ahh fanpage... but i doubt we can use that for this. you should make a fb group; that way you can send a msg to all members at the same time, without having to click every person seperately or selecting them from your friends list. i can do it too, if you want? i'm on fb...

I agree with the others. very thought provoking, but the structure would indeed add to the poem!!

uhm ok.... short....like a single thought that happened to rhyme...

vnorm i agree, but I think this one was written especially to be performed. it has this spoken word flow to it. there were some funny elements in the story and even though it was kinda long, it read fluently, it doesn't get boring at no point. i like it

i like the smooth flow of this piece; it reads like an observation of a brief moment when all stood still around you and you focused on just one thing; very nice

I WRITE TO ESCAPE FROM REALNESS INTO REALITY

hmmm. short. you have some valid points in there but it seems very superficial. like you jotted down a few thing that you want to put in a future poem. if thats the case, im looking forward to the extended version

the ghetto is a state of mind

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